Thoughts

Resolutions..for the new year

2007-01-07T19:32:00.000-08:00

AND SO New Year is upon us — the season to be delighted and sometimes disgusted with yourself. After several weeks of self-indulgence, you have realised too late that your Christmas gift to yourself is a hangover that keeps rolling over like an accumulator bet. At this point, deep within your soul, anxiety and depression starts hardening like quick-set cement. It is the list, a beautiful, tear-stained list of life-changing resolutions, that will enable you to become the new you, the real you. You know, the person you always intended to be before the person you really are turned up and ruined everything.

Why does anyone bother with New Year resolutions? How many people do you meet who say, `I gave up smoking/went on a diet/stopped drinking at New Year, and it all went absolutely brilliantly'? That's right — none. If they erected a statue to New Year's resolutions it would show a person of indeterminate gender with a doughnut in one hand and a cigarette in the other over a plaque saying, `Oops!' There seems to be a paradox around in January that dooms any attempt at self-improvement to failure. And yet people still persist in believing that New Year magically melts away fat, nicotine cravings, relationship problems, and career voids. These are the same people who spend their lives waiting for the superlift, the moment when they burst out of their underachieving chrysalis and show the world what they are really made of. This is the tragedy of human existence — we all think we're butterflies waiting to happen, when maybe we're concentrating on the wrong creature.

In reality, most of us are snails or snakes. Snails carry everything they know and everything they are on their backs. They are bent over with the weight of it all, and they don't even realise it. The worst thing is, just like real snails, that thing on their back isn't disposable — it is where they live and breathe. Take away a snail's shell and it dies. I'm a snail — my life pulled by imaginary burdens, every movement an effort, sometimes with mourns of self-pity. By contrast, snakes are geniuses at reinvention, shedding skins, past selves, like other people take off their socks. What they don't realise is that these skins don't just disappear — they lie around the place, creepy rustling structures of memories, mistakes and moments, complicating everything, getting in the way, just waiting for you to crack, and climb inside them again; have all the same feelings, make all the same mistakes.

Britney Spears is a born `snake', all that determined girl from small-town America to world-dominating megastar. But she was spotted alongside a freeway restroom without her slippers on. Small-town America, slightly move up and make room for one of your own — Britney has found an old skin, crawled back into it, and it's like she never went away. This is not to sneer at Britney — she is merely an example of someone who literally ran around the world, changing absolutely everything but never quite managed to change what really matters — inside. All of which serves to reminds us that, saint or sinner, snail or snake, the human soul is effectively a boomerang that always comes back exactly the same shape, however hard and far away we try to throw it.

What has any of this got to do with your plans to lose weight or quit smoking? Probably nothing. Just a feeling that the big pay-off of the modern disease of self-improvement is that we all fail and end up feeling even more inferior than before. Maybe it's time for us to accept that the `butterfly' might never appear — it got stuck in the chrysalis after eating too much chocolates; or it's already here,

All things considered, better to be a snail or a snake, and support each other as we do what we do best (not much) and greet our biting sense of underachievement like an old friend. Snakes envy snails for their systematic philosophy of life, snails envy snakes for their audacity, but it all comes around to the same thing in the end. Genuine change is terrifying and difficult. Let's all give up, go to bed drunk with our shoes on, and cry.

Follow up post ( Emergence of .NET.... )

2006-08-09T07:41:00.000-07:00

A colleague of mine forwarded me this link that predicts death of J2EE in few years to come.. which I felt as a rightful follow up to my earlier post.

Here you go..

Death of J2EE as a major programming model

Gone are the days

2006-08-08T07:11:00.000-07:00

Gone are Those Days....... But not those memories...That's for sure! !!!!

Gone are the days
When the school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and benches.

Gone are the days
When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books and notes.

Gone are the days
When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet
Managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.

Gone are the days
We learnt writing with slates and pencils, and progressed
To fountain pens and ball pens and then micro tips.

Gone are the days
We started calculating first with tables and then with
Clarkes tables and advanced to calculators and computers.

Gone are the days
When we chased one another in the corridors in Intervals,
And returned to the classrooms drenched in sweat.

Gone are the days
When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,
Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds.

Gone are the days
When a single P.T. period in the Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons.

Gone are the days
When cricket was played with writing pads as bats,
And tubes and socks rolled into balls.

Gone are the days
When few played "kabadi" and "Co-Co" in scorching sun,
While others simply played "book cricket" in the confines of classroom.

Gone are the days
Of fights but no conspiracies,
Of Competitions but seldom jealousy.

Gone are the days
When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast,
In the nearby houses in Intervals and Lunch breaks.

Gone are the days
When few rushed at 3:10 to
"Conquer" window seats in our bus.
Gone are the days

While few others had "Big Fun", "pulippu muttai",
"gulfi ice", "seeval ice !" and "pepsi (the tube one)!" at 4'o Clock.

Gone are the days
Of Sports Day, and the annual School Day ,
And the one-month long preparations for them.

Gone are the days
Of the stressful Quarterly, Half Yearly and Annual Exams,
And the most enjoyed holidays after them.

Gone are the days
Of tenth and twelfth standards, when we
Spent almost the whole year writing tests.

Gone are the days
We learnt, we enjoyed, we played, we won, we lost,
We laughed, we cried, we fought, we thought.

Gone are the days
With so much fun in them, so many friends,
So much experience, all this and more.

Gone are the days
But not the memories, which will be
Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever

THE EMERGENCE OF .NET FRAMEWORK

2006-08-07T17:51:00.000-07:00

Though I am a J2EE professional and a great fan of the freedom it provides as a platform and language, the slow and steady emergence of .net framework has caught my attention. This is not only due to the fact that, as a techie one needs to be in tune with what’s happening in the vibrant and ever changing industry… but also due to the crystallizing process of the Microsoft offering – the .NET framework.

If you feel today’s world has become most competing and if you feel the competition is hitting the peak…then think again. The curve is on the rise and everyone wants to seize the initiative. The key to stay ahead is to reach the market ahead of anyone and offer your service as a unique one. For translating ideas into offering as fast you can requires rapid design of the product or service model and also the rapid application development. This is where I think the .net framework scores and leaves many of its competitors far behind. It’s a fact that with Java and J2EE emerged as one of the best open systems with many contributors bringing in versatile frameworks. The same strength is now slowly becoming a weakness with emergence of one framework highlighting the deficiencies of existing one’s – popular or unpopular. The evidence to this is the books of Hibernate and Spring not only criticizing one another but also throws much of the mud into some of popular application server frameworks.

This has left the development community to choose any open source framework and hence now there are different kinds of models are used in different projects. Over the time, its hit the efficiency, the ability of frameworks to work with each other and more importantly the time to bring the product on the market. While on the other hand, .net framework provides ready to integrate components and also gaining from the building the stability initiative from the Microsoft. Its ease of use is making it popular among the developer community and hence availability of resources is fairly greater. The development cycles are getting shorter and with that the time from the idea is conceived to its taking solid shape.

The challenge before the Java creators are to establish set of better-defined standards and help usher rapid development environment in J2EE.

Ideas and Identities

2005-06-06T01:42:00.000-07:00

“Where am I heading?” This is one question that frequently arises in everyone’s mind. Each person has defined a path for himself in the mind and travels in that. But most of the times, at the end of the journey when we look back and ask ourselves, “Was this the path I wanted to take?” Many are unsure and some repent that this is not the destination they had desired. We need to perform introspection and find out why this happens. To arrive at the cause, we must first determine the root, i.e., how have we decided and nurtured our aim, and why do we falter midway. I had a chance to speak about this to many people.

I figured out that most of them frame their aim based on someone who has already proved himself or from achievers. For example, a girl wanted to become an IPS Officer and said after 6 years I see myself as Kiran Bedi. I was appalled and said, “if you become Kiran Bedi, then where’s you?!” This phenomenon of setting targets based on someone can be observed in many streams of life. From a student to any professional, everyone wants take the same beaten path, thinking safe, imitate their inspirations and try to reach their destination. I guess this is where we go wrong, as we have always wanted to follow an identity. The identity could be anyone, a great leader, a successful person or our next door neighbor. This is a common thread running across people. People try to identify or relate themselves with someone. When success is measured using this scale, certainly this won’t bring smiles in the faces. We need to understand that everyone is a unique in their own right as the odds stacked against and the circumstances that each person undergoes are different.

What I had described above is at individual level. When we look at this from a higher plane or from an overall perspective, we would observe that this casts a negative impression on our society. Upon looking at the societies of the present, we discover the diversity in it and the repercussions of the same in it. Diversity has two varied impacts on a system. The presence of high diversity quotient can act as a catalyst and help the society to thrive and flourish when utilized in a positive note. On the other hand, an unsynergised diversity will pull the system to numerous outer directions making it more scattered. Our society is now suffering from the latter. This is because when we move in our life following the identities, we tend to attach great importance to the identity we follow and undermine the importance of others. This has a direct negative effect. I would like to present a simple analogy to substantiate this point. I asked a good number of people as what is the first thing that comes to your mind when I utter the word Ahimsa? Immediate answer I got was Mahatma Gandhi while the right answer would have been the principle of non-violence. I am happy that we remember Gandhi, but at the same time what we failed to realize is, his idea of principle of non violence that he proposed as ahimsa. Now instead of inculcating ahimsa in our lives, we have kept ahimsa as something that is to be associated only with Gandhi. This is why our society falters following the idolizing culture and this has now become a stumbling block in our growth. It would be worthwhile to read the observation made by Tushar Gandhi when he was posed a question by a journalist during his Dandi March campaign.
Q: You said that you're expecting many foreigners. What is Bapu's impact on the international scene, especially in the West, 55 years after his martyrdom?
A: “They understand Bapu differently in the West. They don't idolize him as we do. In a way, what we do is a disservice to him. We need to understand and implement his ideas in life. Many westerners are trying to implement Bapu's ideas and methodology to solve problems and adapt them to their own society. Many have registered for the march. They are coming for a discovery of Gandhian philosophy. They see a physical challenge as well as a spiritual experience”
This is just one simple instance. There are lots more that can elaborate the point. The conflicts, social disharmony and communal violence that are prevalent in our country are all negative impacts on blindly following the identity form. We are fighting over Ram, Allah and Jesus, the religious identities, but we have failed to realize the ideas put forth by them such as Gita, Bible and Quran which preach love and peace.

I am not undermining the importance of identities here but trying to convey that ideas are the significant, supreme and powerful creations in this world. Until we keep moving as flock by idolizing, our society cannot develop. It would be worth mentioning that politicians are using this weakness of ours to their advantage. Human development is characterized by growth of ideas and it can happen only when our thoughts ponder on the theories that created great revolutions. Remember, identities are mortal, ideas aren’t.

test

2005-04-08T04:02:00.000-07:00

jus testing out ..

Edging God Out

2005-01-31T21:38:00.000-08:00

There was this great poet. His fans used to surrender to his artistic creations. On a peaceful night the poet set off to his village on a well decorated house boat sailing on the shining backwaters for his next creative pursuit. He started to write in his candle lit room. He was trying to nurture his thought process but wasnt able to bring it out. He then decided to sleep and switched the candle off.

As soon as the candle went off, he saw the moonlight painting the boat and he felt drenched under the blue spell. He couldnt stop appreaciating the beauty around him. There was enormous rush of thought ..he took out his writing pad and started to pen them. The words were now in a free roll and his creative bursts started taking shape.

I narrated you this story as this has a close resemblance to our life. Life is wonderful and has to be lived with joy. But, today we are all succumbed to worries and suffering due to a mental block we have thats denying us to enjoy life ....similar to candle blocking the beautiful moonlight , which is nothing but our 'ego'. Once you succumb to your ego you Edge God Out(Now you know why titled this aptly) and so the joy.

Lets edge our ego out and recogonize the true joy of life which is always around us.

The Leader - A Short Story

2005-01-31T03:17:00.000-08:00

It was morning 4'o clock. With newspaper in one hand and with a bunch of chocolates in other , came in Mr. Srinivasan. He was in his happiest moment as his son had got selected for the medical seat. Mother, in her joy switched on all the lights and sat aside her son Anand's bed. He rose like a blossoming flower on seeing happiness in the parents face. This medical seat for them was a dream , life and everything.

Anand would get up at 4'0 clock daily. His mother would await him with brisk hot coffee. She would keep his day's time table on his desk. His father would come by his side and ask about his subjects. After that , there wouldnt any noise , not even of the vessels. Their conversation would be very soft and they even trained Anand's little younger sister to be quiet. The only aim was to ensure Anand's studies without any disturbance. At 6 AM he would have Maths tution and then at 7, chemistry. His evenings would comprise of special classes on Biology oriented subjects. During breakfast his father would stress about food items that's to be served. Anand on seeing his parents care and effort would study still harder. He didnt want to let down his parents. When Anand would feel tired his sister would refresh him with her cute games. Anand is a very disciplined and has very small and close circle of friends. He wouldnt even accept the pocket money given by his dad. His mother would tell , "He is still a child .." and his parents would fulfil all his wishes. Anand's selection for the medical seat was well deserved.There were 15 more days to join college. Preparations for leaving to hostel were being made. Anand's mother was worried but she kept it subtle. He was bought new pair of dresses and shoes and were ready to leave. As they left Anand's parents had mixed feeling of pride and worry , the entire street praised Anand for his effort and achievement.

As they reached the college, they saw students walking around wearing white coat and stethoscope. They felt very proud when they put their son in that place. There were also other parents waiting in the college. Anand's father had a chat with them and paid the fees. Anand was left in hostel , his mother was in tears. They arranged all his things , from his suitcases to buckets in the room. Then his father introduced himself to all his hostelmates with enthusiasm, but Anand's face wore a sad mood from the time he entered the college. Anand's mother with great concern told "He is gloomy than both of us. I dont know how is going to cope and be alone .." . His father provided them emcouraging words and as dusk approached they began to leave. Anand's little sister started crying , Anand then consoled her and promised her that he would visit home every week. Anand sent off their parents , the bus started and Anand's parents started travelling in their child's dream.

It was next day at office for Anand's father. He was explaining to his colleagues about the college , the campus and hostel facilities. After he reached home he bitterly missed his son. The whole house seemed to be empty. The next day he called up the hostel but couldnt talk to his son.. he left a message to Anand to contact home. In the evening as he returned home he was shocked to see Anand waiting. As soon as he saw Anand , Anand started crying , crying like a child with gasping breath. On seeing this his little sister too started to cry. Anand's father came by his side and clasped his face asking "Why da kanna ? What happened...?" He couldnt bear the tears in his son's eyes. Anand told to his papa crying , "Papa , I dont want medicine degree, Papa I will not go there.. , you go and bring my materials." His father told him softly , "See my boy , we also feel difficult without you.. you need to comeover this and study.." His Mother interuptted "He isnt crying for being away , his seniors are harassing him..its ragging". Anand wept "Papa , I also know something about ragging , but Papa this is so dirty , its was something ......oh how can I tell you all those harassments.." . Anand's father was terribly upset . Something unexpected had cropped up when he thought things were in place.His neighbours too enquired about the sudden return of Anand after the rousing farewell they got while leaving for the college. After a while , his father asked "Have the lessons started?" . Anand said "No Papa it will take couple of days". Anand's father said "ok , wash your face and forget everything .. I will take care" . He went out to the bank and withdrew money and ordered Anand to leave to the college. On hearing Anand was terrified. But his father assured that he would be by his side and was in the process getting a independent home near the college for his son's stay. Anand's mother cautioned him on not to speak angirily to students or college authorities as this may affect Anand.

They left to college and as they entered the campus they noticed scores of other parents waiting and parents of girl children were yelling at the authorities. Apart from these there were senior students , guys and girls chatting under tree shades as if nothing serious had happened. On seeing them the freshers wore fear on their face and hide d behind their parents. The parents who had assembled spoke between themselves and decided to complain to the dean. On hearing the complaints the dean asked for the namelist of the seniors. But the new one's couldnt give it as they didnt knew most of the names and also feared that they couldnt survive if they give it. Now all the parents decided to house their children in rented homes near the college for sometime. The parents stayed with their wards for few days. Anand went with his father first day and returned crying again , then his father consoled him and reminded him his dreams, Anand carried on. This accompanying of parents continued for 15 more days and by then Anand was a bit comfortable with surroundings and told his father to carry on and he assured he would look after himself. His father watched him for two days and then left home. Often his father would come to college and ask about happenings in the college. Anand said "Nothing pa , some small tussle was there yesterday but i managed it.. no worries". Later Anand informed his parents and shifted to hostel with his friends. Anand came home once in a month and assured them that eveything was fine..All in the family were in happy mood. Anand's sister came running and hugged him .. life seemed to flow smoothly.

In the 2nd year , Anand asked for a bike. Without any hesitation his father got him a bike by applying for a vehicle loan. Sometimes Anand would come home zooming in the bike and surprise everyone. In the third year Anand had grown a thick moustache and when asked why , he told , "Papa , I want to look big". In the fourth year Anand's father was transferred and they moved in to new place. Once in office , the cashier came to Anand's dad with sweets as his son got selected in medical enterance examinations. The cashier was very cheerful and after few days looked worried and dull with his unshaven beard. When Anand's dad enquired he told "My son and has come home , he cant survive the ragging there ..he is in such a bad condition , I dont want to send him to that hell again ..let him study B.Sc and come up in life.." . After listening to the entire story , Anand's father asked him not to worry about anything and told him "My son is also studying 4th year in the same college, I will give you a letter addressed to my son so that it would help you." That was a friday , he gave the letter and left home.

On Monday after arriving at his office , he was expecting some kind of feedback from the cashier but till late afternoon there was no response. So he called upon the cashier and asked "Wht sir , did you go to the college and solve the issue?" . Cashier looked tensed and replied in negative. Further on repeated queries he said "No Sir, I didnt go .. , I went to my home and showed the envelope you gave me to my son and just started to convince him. On seeing the name in the cover , he became very nervous , he started crying and ran to his room and locked himself out of fear of going to college. He said , your son is the leader of the gang in the college".

Does God Exist?

2005-01-20T19:56:00.000-08:00

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists." "Why do you say that?" asked the customer.
"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist.Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children?
If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving a God who would allow all of these things."
The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't
want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the
shop.
Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long,stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!" "No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside." "Ah, but barbers DO exist! " answered the barber. " What happens, is, people do not come to me. ""Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Courtesy : A Mail fwd.
P.S : I dint want to anything in my blog apart from my writings , but the message in the above article was subtle and strong that I relented..

e tomQuotes by Me

2005-01-18T22:57:00.000-08:00

-> "The Entire World

steps aside for a man

who knows where he is walking .."

-> "If you cannot find one , become one"

-> Religion says "Everything is one" , divided across infinite human minds.

-> "This too ....shall pass"

->Art of Living :
You should have a vision as if you are going to live forever ..
and you should live as if you are going to die tommorow.

The Dusk - A Short Story

2005-01-04T01:58:00.000-08:00

It was a bright evening and the year was in its ending . I could see the eagerness and expectations of the people awaiting for the new year to dawn upon. As usual I was heading to my bus stop . Being new year's eve the traffic was heavy and there was hustle and bustle around. I decided to take a walk to the station and head home by train . In the process , I took a short cut which I had always liked, for its residential localities , peace , serenity and greenery. As I was just passing through the road , I decided to have coffee at my favourite open air cafe. Sipping my coffee I was looking at the residential apartments in awe. I always wanted to stay here , live my life here , but my financial status couldnt afford it. As I was just glaring at the building , a recogonizable figure crossed my eyes. I kept seeing at the woman and I was taken by shock and surprise.

She was Neha , yes ... my first and only love , the girl I wanted to meet again in life. With my eyes still fixed on her , I got up from the table and moved towards the building. She recogonized me and waved her hand. Arey , I thought , she still remembers me. Without control and just like a keyed toy I was moving towards her apartment remembering our fairytale love. Ours had a refreshing love. We both were from different classes of the same stream and our meeting started at college competitions and cultural organizing committee. Within few meets I felt an attraction towards her and she too would watch me closely when I deliver my presentation and always quips about my unique mannerism in my style of presenting . Nonetheless , she kept me going. As the days or rather minutes went along , my anxiety kept growing by leaps and I wasnt able to hold myself to her . I still remember the way I proposed her. We were in a death ceremony of a common friend's ..and I was organzing things. Neha entered , clad in white , with flowers in hand. She was looking like a angel to bless the soul . She prayed for the peace of the soul and placed the flowers beneath. I was standing in one corner , waiting for her to notice me . She did notice me. I just went up to her and said " Seeing the beauty of your tribute , I wish I could die now" . She looked at my eyes and didnt reveal anything and left. I was cribbing to myself about the event the whole night. Next Morning , in the classroom , I saw a rose on my table signed by her. And our fairytale love took off in style ......suddenly , A huge noise from a horn gave me a jerk and I realised I m in the middle of the road.

I crossed the road and walked inside the society towards her home. As I was walking thousands of questions crossed my mind. "Would she receive me with same effervescent smile?" , "would she pester me with lot of questions , about my life , my job , my family , the turn of events ....." . Thinking , I pressed the calling bell and Neha received me inside. Her face was covered by silver streak of hair. She now had the divine look for a family woman. She welcomed me and started telling about her. "Santosh , its really wonderful that I happened to see you . You know , my husband was transferred here couple of months back ... he is a bank manager. We are yet to get settled in this new place". As she as talking , I was looking at her family photo. She continued " ....haan ,thats Varun , 1st standard now ..very playful , he's gone to the ground nearby. I have a tough time with him". She didnt ask me thing and continued "Santosh , Deepak should be back in sometime , please wait while I make you a coffee'. I got up from the sofa and said "Neha, I have to leave now , got some work, see you some other time". When I was leaving she asked me one question , "Are you working here.. ?" I answered in the affirmative and left.
On my way out I started cursing women. "She did not ask me about my life , the turmoils I had , not even my family ..girls are just shortlived in everything". Has she forgotten the nicest things we shared and my life that I lived for her ?. I was very upset and walking down the road and just remembered that I had left my spectacles at her home.

I quickly walked back and reached her home. The door was open , as I was about to enter I saw Neha wearing my glasses and enacting my unique mannerism of my presentation .. in front of a mirror. I just could'nt call her , words werent coming out ..I felt a lump in my throat. she noticed me and gave my glasses back. I managed to put up a face and took it from her and walked out. I felt the whole world around me crumbling.... as I was about to wear the glasses I saw droplets of tears in them ..... I wore them and the whole world was covered in the mist ...... and I wished , I should have never seen her.......

Watch !!

2004-12-29T23:10:00.000-08:00

Watch this space for More ............. creative juices from me